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Phil John:
SYLLOGY VII
FLVCTVATIO - QUAGMIRES III:
vel
DE SVBLIMITATE
(DIALYSIS, PART TWO OF NINE)
Eichwalde / Berlin / Milano / Montegrotto Terme / Padova / Marinella di Cutro / Siracusa / Agrigento / Èrice / Palermo / Letojanni / Storkow, May 27th, 2000 - September 18th, 2000 - P#124
EXPOSITION:
PRAELVDIVM
PARS PRIMA: MATRIX
INTERLVDIVM PRIMVM: CLUES
PARS SECVNDA: TEMPESTS
INTERLVDIVM SECVNDVM: AD NOCTEM
PARS TERTIA: DESCENT
INTERLVDIVM TERTIVM: LIMBO
PARS QVARTA: PVRGATORIVM
INTERLVDIVM QVARTVM: REMIX
PARS QVINTA: IN DREAMS
POSTLVDIVM
PRAELVDIVM
The poems that were The poem at hand The poems to come The words which denote The words which just flow The words now to come The words all subsume The words all consume, Poiêsis to make A sense seldom clear - The sense is the words And nothing is said? But much will appear And time's running out A climax is formed A ladder just this Goes up and comes down - Just one path in two And both are the same Direction's the key Anticipate not - And don't you be fooled: For nothing times nil Will stay just the same
PARS PRIMA: MATRIX
Prótaxis ·
Taxis ·
Epítaxis
Prótaxis:
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Wake And make What you can What new is then To climb to the stars Defy all nears and fars In all your days and the nights To gather new places and sights Climb up it will now, up to the wake Appear all then will and all is at stake.
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Taxis:
| heis |
duo |
treis |
tettares |
pente |
hex |
hepta |
oktô |
ennea |
deka |
Haze Maze Craze Place Pace Nays Base Gaze Face Days
| Nights Flights Sights Heights Tights Mights Fights Plights Rights
| Weak Leak Peak Shriek Meek Freak Peek Seek
| Find Mind Hind Bind Wind Kind Blind
| See Be Flee Me Thee We
| Them Stem Hem Lamb Ham
| Free Spree Tree Plea
| Vain Plain Sane
| Ill Will
| Rise
|
heis
I. Haze
Waking and aching And pounding and sounding The thoughts so demanding In sorrows all standing And waking and making Away with the fearing Away now I'm steering Away from all stand-still, Away and towards now Towards what must matter Must matter far faster Far faster and thorough And thorough in sorrow The dreams that now hit me - Reality bit me - The dreams - are it dreams then? The dreams, yeah, deep down then, The haze now is starting A promise not given So none is for striven.
II. Maze
The thoughts seep by Soon catch the eye No worth in here No, never fear, Just never trust Just always look The path you took Remember not The steps are gone The steps are far Remember them However far Remember not Remember them The path in front No sight it flees No sight you see The thoughts so sought They lose you here You're kept in fear, No time to see, No time to flee, No neither place, No neither face, Just all this haze In wildest maze The steps to climb Ascend awry And ask not why The rhyme askew The rhythm so Afar is all Unheard your call Evade - Confront - And lost you'll be.
III. Craze
No matter where No place to adhere No time is your home The tempests you bore The tempests you're through A shadow but are They catch you from far From far-reaching hide From long-lasting stride They shatter with might They shatter what might ever had - No reason they see The thoughts soon do flee The fire sets in They thoughts stay within Are crazed In the maze And its haze
IV. Place
The storms you may flee Too indistant are Too near, not quite far, The places they reach Are set then to breach They cannot withstand Now could they resist Resistance so futile And futile till end - What vict'ry is ours, For short-term it stays, But set back for maze And stablest so place To chaos returns To order adjourns But chaos is stronger And chaos is starker And chaos is darker No places it shelters No place it excludes - And frail it exudes. The days soon are gone The nights us embrace In night's darkest place A shadow you are.
V. Pace
What once so still Speed up it will What once in peace Will peace then cease - Accelerate Disintegrate Not wait But act No word No fact The thoughts run wild The air not mild But raving craze With deadly space All in its path The fate caught hath You can't Evade.
VI. Nays
Deny the truth Deny all life Deny reality through jive The walls now break The time will shake Disintegrate Commemorate And delegate Affirm - deny - Your yes a yes Your nay a nay - Deny the lie Confront the truth No ways can soothe However smooth The facts of life For facts we strive But fiction all Denying And crying Distorted image Whim So dim And black is white All greys subside And gone all hope Below this yoke.
VII. Base
Wherever you're standing The ground now is bending The base almost lost now The rules from within so Are torn all apart now Whatever then smart once Askew and just broken The night has awoken No use All apart now So loose Once joint Now lost In dust To dust To nebulae fleeing A refuge not seeing All ground is just lost now And not coming back Illusions destroyed Excuses so void Apologies rejected Experience abjected Home, once sweet, Altered now, beat, Have died all the roses The fence fall'n together The bricks holding ghosts now And haunted what yours so And lost is it all Remains just your fall.
VIII. Gaze
The truth now descending Your self not ascending But falling just deeper Who once seemed your keeper In humanoid shape Gets lost in the maze Remains just your gaze Afraid and so trembling In distances rumbling The tremor and shaking And underground waking Which now is to come Soon Can already stun You Of friends now then none Are In distant a hum Too And now you seem Late And heavenly gate Once close Now seems closed And diff'rent a portal You're standing before now So gaze just and wonder You're late, Going yonder? So where are you going And where have you been?
IX. Face
The look on your face now - I cannot describe it Too stunning, too laughable, And not at all adorable And fading It all Just having it realized Just having had it all figured out - Just bad luck. Or bad planning Or just Just Just not just? Just not quite thorough Was not it within you? And had you not heard it? So, may have abhorred it, But nevertheless, The rules of the game Remain still the same A game then it is Not always a bliss The look on your face, O my ...
X. Days
-
duo
I. Nights
So days remain empty And night has befallen The days were not worth it The days are just gone now But night is what's fallen Not yours is the choice now A shadow've become you A mask shows with-out you And crying with-in you Can protest you, however, However then strong now Persist will just darkness Till know you your starkness - No God has here put you The fault lies within you And so does salvation - The thorough equation Equates all the living And shows you the giving No age-old denial Can change this, Nor trial
II. Flights
So, flight you are taking Compliance you're faking Deep down but escaping The troubles too aching The sounds soon escape you The silence grows starker The howl grows within you The colors grow darker Till blind you in madness It strikes you as courage - And maybe it is For inside, there's thinking But outside, just sinking Betrayal! They're crying Defector! But lying The thing you are fleeing Is just what they're seeing - You flee their perception Constructions, rejection, And all genuflection To them, you're just crazy Your thoughts just too hazy, If not you surrender, Your thinking, your tender, Remain just yourself And human foremost! Receivest no rewards Just staring and stuff, Your world is another Still filled with the wonder The awe and the truthful - And saved you may be.
III. Sights
New sights now approaching New spaces encroaching New concepts emerging And old then converging - And time is a player And adding a layer And layers then to it And leaves it to work - And all but collapsing And all soon at stake here And time still elapsing The sights laying bare now - Amongst them some old, Amongst them some new, But all in collision And all in your vision What finds you prepared Will help you be spared But still be alerted So much be averted - Prepared not you are - And safe not by far. The sights are demanding Reality bending And spaces negating For silence not waiting Just thorough and plain All strength is in vain All virtues to hold The cards not to fold The wall now converging The sights are now searching - And you are their object, Not seeing yourself But seen so much more - Apart now they tore Your proper defenses Immunity gone And all you thought won Has vanished from sight And joined in the night.
IV. Heights
What once horizontal Now pushed into height And staring from down here, Just seeing your might: It's nothing, it's nil, and it never was true: And dwarfed all your being and broken right through - The distance so crying All life so denying Humanity gone: And caught you in stun, The prospects so sinking, Whatever was linking Now ruptured, disjoint: All rhyme will have broken, All harmony past - What enters your sight Will spur you to flight Or staring in doubt - But don't you turn back, Lot, For yours isn't heights Nor judgement-lacked sights, What mod'rate and small Now crushed by what's tall And you? Intimidated - Awed - Terrorized - Enlightened? Whatever - don't matter Beyond space and time There's just the sublime.
V. Tights
All movement now gone Art standing in stun Thou art standing in space Enfolded by all of this maze Standing in time, Enfolded by days And all the sublime To terror will flee - It horror may be. Now trembling of fear, The greatness too near The heights closing in The lights - sadly - not dim And all falls now in And falls into you - Your défense, your might Has fled into flight - And tight are your nerves No muscle you serves No thought leads to move - No spark leads to thought, Art terrorized, Immobilized
VI. Mights
No way to enforce it No way to ignore it Your powers, they're gone - They still seem be lurking Or are they just mirking? And faking existence? And trust - is it founded On grounds fondly grounded Or rather but shaking A stand never making But always avoiding The fight they be fighting? Your mights you so straining, But movement not gaining Momentum not reaching But still it are teaching - Come time, come solutions - And all evolutions Now rise and just face it You needn't embrace it You still can deny it You needn't outcry it And monsters not looked at Might just disappear. Who knows. But when they are striking Be better prepared. Why should you be scared? What should you be scared of? Not alien they are Nor come they from far - Inside from they rise In shabby disguise - But yours wholly are From you not ajar: Yourself you are facing.
VII. Fights
Yourself you are chasing Yourself then encasing, Your self then much longer Your limits transcending To linkage ascending The other's your own - Your own is another's - And diff'rence constructed And justice obstructed Cosmology hurt - And so much inferred And so much wrong taken So stirred and so shaken And sense never making - However, it faking - And shining their masking Contrived but their asking - And they - who is them then? And trapped we again And all cute divisions Are bleeding incisions, The blood is our own - And shattered our bone.
VIII. Plights
Behold those who suffer Excluded they are And just out of sight - How nicely, how smooth, Perception averting, Just hidden in sight - What obstructs cannot be - And those who do see? Who's strong, who is weak? The answers don't leak, Are hidden in shadow And shadowy matter - And buried in thought - And heart there is naught - Just awful compassion A pounding obsession But serving division And plight is a vision Asserted and talked of - But still it is us And still it is them Accept we don't can Just tolerate - And obfuscate.
IX. Rights
Just all so apart now And all seeming smart so - Alleged becomes true - And lacking - a clue, The prospects now facing And shadows embracing Just ruins remain And all seems in vain Once thinking returns And silence adjourns And "how to behold"[3] Is crucial again - No whether, no when, No who neither what - All questions seem dealt with, The answers - a joke. And all understanding A giant excuse And pity as hell. The rights we infer Are crushed in such bright Obscured by the night And fooled we again.
treis
I. Weak
And nothing remains And shattered all be And buried in pains That nowhere to see And strength now gives way No longer can stay No longer pretend - And now, it must bend All human endeavor Too small in this sight All humbled by space By time and by night The stars falling in Of nothing a kin Of stardust we are - And dust yet indeed - And greatness so far Pretension the creed - Confronted, all's gone And nothing we've won Our hands now can hold But how to behold! This sight goes right through Destroys any clue And puzzles the strong No right neither wrong Prevail then here can.
II. Leak
And fading again All knowledges are Just fading away No longer they stay No longer to find And leak from the mind And flee then the soul - And late but return Too long they adjourn Eternity-like And almost it seems They're not coming back And all fades to black.
III. Peak
And majesty So clear to see So clear to fear - In pain so near Yet far from help Assist they won't Assist they can't - And words subside To size abide To horror flee In terror see And all is joint No phrase now coined No thought now thought Just awe-filled stare Just everywhere.
IV. Shriek
Too stark to see Too strong to be Too forced to sleep - In silent shriek The face now rests But rest not finds - In agony winds With bliss also joint And silence needs be No eating No drinking Just being And see The beauty is edged Not readily hatched Not singular form - It is not yet born And here, will not be - In roughest a state With darkness so linked And never extinct, Primordial Not cordial But rough And edged So dark And bright Dichotomy Contradiction Unity. Flee?
V. Meek
And quantity Is size The eyes So full And filled even more In blurring scope The mind can't cope The mind can't define -
Can't minimize, Antagonize, And scope us surrounds To calmness us bound In meekness us found Surprised but we are Have come we from far But this isn't new Unknown not its cue As nature's within us And always can pin us From mind unto matter - We do think us better But mortal we are From death not ajar.
VI. Freak
Don't run away Don't run in fear No need to blow it No need to freak out For death you don't know So don't deem it bad A gift it may be - Not yet but to see
VII. Peek
So watch it And learn No compromises The bridges will burn.
VIII. Seek
Wake And make What you can What new is then And rise To the stars.
téttares
I. Find
Days so bright Nights so cold Nature's law To uphold And abide - And to fight Time to find, Raise your mind Find your fate - Don't come late Don't you hesitate Don't you dare Levitate You're just bait All's a ploy - But enjoy Make your move. Size you seek? Seem too week? Size so build! Don't you yield, Don't you frown Go create - Investigate Put poiêsis To mimesis -
![[transliteration given below]](../img/poems/p124klimax_1_4_1.png) [5]
II. Mind
To climb to the stars Defy all nears and fars In all your days and the nights And places to be And times yet to see Not alien they are Outside not - Within you And pin you To choice: Defensive - Pro-Active - And all those neat words Your mind Must find What it needs For nourishment So bend When you must But not inside - No talk abide Just truth you seek.
III. Hind
In hind sight Just risks In logic No bliss Just structures No soul Emotions The goal. Needn't show them - But have them. And don't Lose hope. In questioning - Strength; In desperateness - Haze And craze No logic - But bliss? Mediate Don't deviate. Survive. But in sublime No limits bind - And none in hind.
IV. Bind
But Legs on a ground Air in the lungs Food in your stomach And water and salts - And out them, you know - And current a flow Just through you And binds you To nature And all. Transcendence - Ask Plato. Or Emerson. But still: To body and mind Your soul must now bind. Wherever you aim - Your body, the same, So fragile, so frail, Till sees you the nail They drive in your coffin. So know, where you stand.
V. Wind
Parameters set, The risks roughly seen, So up now you wind Don't look now behind 'Cause now's not the time And rest not sublime Nor hesitance. To gather new places and sights - And up we shall go.
 Just so.
VI. Kind
Related you are And nothing's ajar One mind, soul and space - Alone Is no option So all Or none.
VII. Blind
The future yet hidden The past so obscure The present soon over - So Blind You race For impact Brace.
pente
I. See
Awaking And making What we can What new is now The time is now The place is here And nowhere Else Here is the ground To make the stand - You see You'll be And if not now Then never The See is His - This See sublime, Sublime in greatness, might and pain - You see You know You feel - Do you believe? Do you want to believe? Or rather grieve About chances lost Worlds destroyed Words, wrong-employed? Regrets don't work Nor pitied self Again: You see. What's now to be? What's now to say, Or rather, do? You know this, too. Go on, feel small. Or hear the call And make it work. And see. Eyes wide shut Soul wide open So see. And be. See.
II. Be
Muscles Arteries Veins Organs Blood Flesh Water Neurons Blood Urine Hair Fair Dark Red Blood Paws Hands Legs Moving Staying Praying Cursing Assisting Poisoning Blood Bright Dark Grey Little Grey Men Blood Houses Towns Cities Colonies Space Starships Velocity Stasis Blood Existence Death Blood Extinction Pollen Eggs Sperm Blood Alive Kicking Starving Carving Reading Composing Scribbling Pure Nonsense Pure Drivel Blood Earth Water Air Fire Stone Plasma Vacuum Ether Space Blood Kill Resurrect Resurge Converge
Emerge Emergency Blood Cut.
III. Flee
Realities breaking And fractures just making Conjoint Disjoint Come Seen Conquered - In passive Not active The days gone by And the nights Go away Lead astray In supremae nocte coenae Spectators Speculators Where are you going, Where have you been? The days gone by In blood just fry Blood Hypocrisy Stand? Flee? Retake.
IV. Me
Recordare Iesu Pie Quod sum causa tuae viae Ne me perdas illa die Dreams deep down so dark and aching Progress not the slightest making Work and labor all so faking All audacious moves not taking Hiding fleeing come No further Come no further Come not here Don't come Stun Darkness quietly descending Nebulae, mist, fog ascending Light in darkness mixed so starkly Through the looking glass just, darkly, Truth not seeing, truth so hidden, In there, out there, all forbidden, Obfuscated and deceivèd, All impeded in quod libet Turning, yearning, yelling, clashing. All so fucked that truth is lost here - Recordare, Iesu Pie.
V. Thee
Lost it all And not returns it Lost it all Or out of reach just Notwithstanding That obscured it Single mind just cannot differ Single soul just cannot grasp Nor can it share Grasp transcending to another, See her, feel her, hear her talking Never let away her walking Don't be fooled No chance returns, This case adjourns Another option Not exists No compromises And don't give up And don't you give up And now in my thinking A single intention A single excitement Just simple enticement - Y cuando te miro Finalmente yo spiro, Finalmente, yo vivo - Las difucultades Son las de ayer - El tiempo futuro Va ser inoscuro, Va ser más intenso, Va ser tan más denso, Si, cuando te miro, El cielo yo veo. Y otras las cosas No valen, importan. Son tu Y yo, No compromisos.
VI. We
Joint in cause And joint in action Joint in all - No genuflection Bow your knees before the Lord just Human might is just pathetic So it is just hypothetic Fall it will And fall it all Neither is its moral tall Just a pitiful excuse Just a giant-leap excuse, Those who reign, their might abuse - So for trust there is no use Neither is for hope for better If not based on all, 't will shatter, Break apart just on itself - And still, For the Thirty, Socrates will be blamed. We should know better.
hex
I. Them
But this is not different And neither achievement Nor levies a doubt - The words now, they shout - Call vividly, vexing, So often perplexing, Betraying, confusing, Deceiving, abusing, Inveigle and obfuscate - So brilliantly do they create By simply what they now narrate - A web is formed, of lies a web, But "lies" now is that harsh a word - It's just what everyone has heard, It's wish-belief And comforting. To lone a gunman Do we cling Or - even more - Conspiracies. The large ones all, They are preferred, And soon it's all But us ourselves - And "they" just poison Every soul - Grotesque a picture, Threat'ning so - But also, brilliant, Clever so, An all seems linked; Coincidence? That word's unknown. Just all's a ploy And we within And cannot win 'Cause they are first And nil is gained - Each step we make So small to seem - As it reveals Another scheme, Another ploy - And fall'n aback Again we are. Sublime a power - Torn ajar Are we between. And have not been.
II. Stem
But do have been, And now we are. Originate From who create Us did We know And feel And see The father The mother They're clear Aren't they? And past restricted Present now Future - unrevealed Past of past Plus quam perfectum Tempus est Tempus erat Tempus fugit Tempus erit Erit? Quod quam modo?
Times past Times paster Times pastest - Or nearest Aren't they all Contributing? Isn't Plato Nearer to me Than my next-door neighbor? Or Emerson? Or Cicero? From where we stem - Biology - History - Landscapes - Mindscapes - Who is father to our soul? Or mother? Fate? Where are we going? Where have we been?
III. Hem
And great such obstacles That block our path - And all now hath It in its grasp - So time's a predator Lurking behind Doors Hidden Overtly attractive But still Still Calm Waiting Jumping in front of us Blocking the sight from us Nothing now done Nothing and none Staring we are Staring Not moving Blood Slowly pulsating Almost stopped With our breath Or running Like hell Blood.
IV. Lamb
Thus forced to act But stopped as well - No time to think No time to yell Cuerpo del dios Have mercy then And grant us peace.
V. Ham
And caught we are And hold so tight And stopped from flight If white Or black Don't matter now - And joint in fight As joint in plight And joint we fall - Or joint we rise. No more disguise, No more this ploy - The time is now And falsehood break And truth restore No word misuse Nor highest call The times to be Just better be More difficult But we have learnt Haven't we? Have we? No color That matters Just body And soul And blood. It's one. Red Drink Live Forever Blood.
hepta
I. Free
So go And choose No limits bind No thoughts in hind No hidden motives True And honest No regrets No lies Lies it all in your hand Fate Don't wait Don't you stop Not to the top Don't you regard it For hurt you will just be And only will rise your pride And darkness will catch you not light And caught you for ever, don't you see In such, there's no way to ever be free. So fall. The climax leads down No pride No bigotry No hypocrisy Just human be And soon you'll see It takes so little To be free Be And see That you wake And fall To the night Don't rise To the dark Wake Make Can Then Stars Fars Nights Sights Wake Stake Blood.
II. Spree
See it all And don't get spoilt Hear it all And do just listen Taste it all But mortal you stay And speak And share Go out Take In a spree Give You'll be free You'll be freed - Not just meat, Sitting rock, Not just poultry Forced into a container Expected to produce - See the wonder Feel the awe But don't you freeze But go Get inspired Get going.
III. Tree
In a whisper The woods They tell Tell it all Like to share Have, can spare Do you hear? Can you hear? Want you hear? You better listen. An eyeball transparent You may yet become. Who knows. Nobody knows Who doesn't know the question, Anyway. The trees Are life. No nymphs. No elves. Transcendent. But don't look for a tree in a desert Or on the frozen grounds of an iceberg Not even titans are there, However titanic they be.
IV. Plea
Should you now come To think "He's losing it" You may be right. Speaking of trees he is. He is. I am. Ergo Cogito? Or gibberish It is? It is. Is it? Go on, make your own poem. But leave me alone. Wake And make - You know. And, of course, There's blood.
oktô
I. Vain
Now Efforts gone Gone astray Far away Not to hold Not to guard Not to cover I can stand - Mind so bent Mind so broken All the myst'ry so - A token All the tales I heard - Just spoken Ill-imagined Vain in thought, Real in mind Matter not Will they rise? Mind towards matter Mind over matter? All I see here Matter shattering mind. Size does matter. See the cataracts that crush See the waters that awaken See the clouds move fast in storm See the storm A perfect one And perfectly All these illusions Seem in vain Are! in vain See the stars out there colliding See the energies so binding Beautiful But dangerous Beautiful But with an edge A deadly one And one to stun And one to kill And one to thrill. All destinies Are bound to fail - And matter are we Always be Just matter Dust Dust to dust Dust in the wind Dust in the storm Thrown away Carried Violated Obfuscated Disillusioned No escape No return See me turn See me fail You're the next Rise we will? Rise we could. Ascend, perhaps. But don't you see? The time is now. And all there is Are lies and ruins Dark and ancient New the wrapping Old the wake - And I can't make And all I can In now and then Is watch the stars And see the farce And see the nights - And darkest sights. And when I wake Has burnt the stake And truth is burnt And tides not turned? All black, no white? But greys in all Big greys Little greys Little Grey Men And closure Never Ever Ever after. See the books that are so burning Past sepulchres open turning Pastly ghosts again appearing Pastly ghosts to wrong us steering Resist Defy And don't Comply Or all In vain.
II. Plain
See it waking See it making See it rise In disguise Or openly Ghosts of the past Ghosts of the present Ghosts of the future Ghosts without time The bridges will burn The blood then will turn And hurt in your veins Humanity gone Insanity won A soul yet within But helplessly seeing The deeds of your hands - A shape just remains A white, hollow mask Be knives it or fangs For blood is its drive A scheme just, no man, You see it now plain All words so in vain All weapons no use And see it you will In mirrors so still.
III. Sane
Or sleep And dream Don't you look! - Don't you see? Yours the choice - Yours it be Sane or not - Who to tell? Who to say? Normality? Come on. The term of madness Is just such a cheap excuse. Lock it away. Locks cannot hold Locks cannot tell Words can't define Words cannot hold Words are too vague And so in flux Constantly For you to see. Locked will be Just human soul Set it free Risks you take But awake. ?
ennea
I. Ill
No excuses No escape No compromises Go Don't fake Wake Don't let it lull you Don't let it bind you Don't let it hurt you See the magnitude of stars? Forget it. See the harmony of light and dark? Disregard it. A shadow just And broken dream. And should you stay, Then it will strike. As from afar, There may be awe, But comes it closer, You're so lost. And mind's Astray And ill.
II. Will
Take your force together, Run! Turn away from it, So go! All sublimity too strong All the images not wrong - True perhaps, and truest even - But your mind too small to see, Lost so many souls already, Lot was spared, But see his wife! Take your will And make it focus - Sublimity For gods to see, For humans, Beauty to suffice.
deka
I. Rise
Wake And make And rise From blood To more than fears - And all it takes: To learn to see To learn to hear To learn to taste And not Lay waste And don't Let go. No more games. This life so precious, Better wake. Next stage's different - But this one's short And long as much - And time Soon May be up. Time's running out Like in an hour glass And so Are stanzas. Sand's up.
Epítaxis:
And now wait And just breathe Air take in Nitrogen Oxygen Carbon Dioxide Air push out Nitrogen Less Oxygen More Dioxide Feel your heart Hammering Blood Push's it out Draws it in Hold your breath Feel your heart Slow down Silent Breathe again Slower Just calm down First steps taken Others in front Now Move again Up the climax Up it goes Face it Grasp it Wake And Make.
INTERLVDIVM PRIMVM: CLUES
The matrix vectors by is formed The vectors leniently so normed Beyond diagonal so vain Determines thus so little strain In multiplied diagonals A zero means that content falls Or is expanded endlessly - And its determinant to see A zero be, a zero is, And zero then is all there is - A naught, a nothing, all in vain, And all now caught in crying shame And everything which thought sublime Will neverwhere and never climb, The climax leads to nothingness A place so strange and not to guess
And Lethe sends forgetfulness And all thought rich appears much less - Illusions born, illusions killed - But yet, this course not yet fulfilled And yet, this course to run now through Is madness, raving, lacks all clue, And all delibèrately done Appears much more like done in stun.
And down again this road, and fast, And nothingness inside will last, Forgiven not, forgotten all, Remembrances to pieces fall
And imminent a break this is, So call it hell or call it bliss -
All leads destroyed and home is lost
And all now void
So fall?
No.
PARS SECVNDA: TEMPESTS
Fall
All will
And kill
·
And fill out
Loudly shout
Weak or stout
And about so
What do we know
Where do we go
What do we show
So where to go to?
And what shall we do?
When once we then flew
Again to go through,
A stand to make too
· ·
And all tempests to see
In these tempests to be
And them never to flee -
And a coward art thee?
Or all cowards are we?
The accused'll just be me.
Forced into all this decay
Fearing what's coming this way
'Fraid both to move and to stay -
Falling all down into clay,
Silence seems parsecs away,
Cursing this strange, odd-sized play,
Curse now or shout now - or pray.
Don't know why just now I'll stay here,
Am stiffened perhaps out of fear,
Am trembling and shaking so clear,
The tightness of all sheds no tear
Nor any commitments I hear -
In terror all strangled just sheer,
Immobilized, horror comes near
And tempests from far come right here.
· · ·
All the dreams that we shared now here stand
All the dreams once then reached out their hand
All these dreams deep, deep down now are bent -
All these dreams just themselves have now lent
To the darkness that never should stand,
To this madness just raving and planned,
Desperation a mindless event,
And a state from which logic so banned
And a place where no justice can stand.
Meanwhile
Wake
And make
Nothing fake
Nothing in vain
Not staying in shame
Not fearing wrongest fates
Not opening wrongest gates
The past is the past is the past
Climb up you now shall right to the stars
Whilst hidden all seems and nothing at stake
Waking and making and taking and find,
Find all the secrets that hide in your mind,
Find them, explore them, and them now unwind,
Should you refuse, you'll for ever stay blind
Face it and stand it and put not in hide
Use it, don't hide it, it's yours, it's your mind
Wisdom control it but see what's your kind
See from what shadows your thoughts will unwind
Don't be afraid of whatever you'll find
Canny, uncanny, it's all in your mind.
Of any, all people, it's yours, this mind, then
Of any, all people, just face it, you can
Accept it, embrace it and use what you can
A new one to find you may never again
A new one to waste, that's just not in the plan
It's this one, it's now, neither if nor but when
And now is the time and the place - you're the man,
So face it, unfold it, and grasp what you can
A secret it stays in its total again
And this, too, embrace, this is all that you can
Resistance is futile and has been since then.
· · · ·
All the days that you waste are the risks you then take
All the days gone just by are no life but just fake
All the days seen no light have not seen you awake
All the days it's again just a choice that you make
All the days spent alone make your soul be at stake
All the days lit by darkness - no choice that you make -
All these days are the tempests in which you're at stake
And the dragons of fire this fate eas'ly take
And your soul coming close to the deepest, dark lake
And decisions then made are for nobody's sake -
And your sanity screaming, not much it can take -
All the monsters you see are the monsters you make.
Gone now the days when the choices of life to make true
Lost in the haze that the chaos of life calls a clue
Lost in the maze and the jumbled events always due
Pain in the faces of people you see, old or new
Pain in their gestures and hidden so barely in stew
Gone all the times full of hope, full of all that was true
Gone all the times and unknown just the place where they flew
Gone all the efforts and work that you made into dew
Gone seems it all and you're starting to feel justly blue
All the green meadows, blue skies and clear waters left, too
Nowhere to run and just nowhere to hide now anew -
Forced into corners you never then wished to go to -
Now is the time to see everything, all, just anew.
So is this a game or a ploy or a plot just to play?
And all this a joyously joking around for no pay?
And all ending well just for every of us then just may?
Now don't expect me just to answer with yes or a nay -
For all easy answers have long just gone out, all astray,
And all that we know is just all that we see - which is clay
And light mixed with darkness in shadowy greyest of grey
And rarely just broken by tiniest smallest a ray
A ray just of light and a ray that's just joyous and gay
But darkness surrounds and the light in these shadows won't stay
And greatness holds beauty but edged with these shadows of grey
And shadows the edges and corners and depths show just may
Beyond all the judging and yonder all answers, all pray,
Sublimity hovers, not caring if go we or stay.
· · · · ·
Don't you fear it or hate it or curse or evade it, nay, go!
All these images bright and illustr'ous so raving a flow
All these dreams that to dream you not dared neither wanted to know
All these dreams right deep down you that lured you away eas'ly so
All these deeply enchanting, all lust reinventing, you know -
And the raving and crying and shouting parades long ago
All these powerful cravings for madness escaped you, but no,
Fascination yet staying and interest just hidden in woe
And the myst'ry around it, the trouble, the masses and so -
How this all came to happen and all so invoking and low
How so strong and so bloody and awful and primal a show
But the power's without you and just an illusion - you know -
And the madness of cent'ries and decades a red-blooded glow
It just melts with the after, before and the other in flow,
How this blood with that beauty a mixture has formed you don't know.
Wait - and you're lost here and all the surroundings will hit you so hard
Move not - and soon all your days will be numbered, your nights torn apart,
Watch - and your fate will have bent to a side yet unknown to your heart
Go not - and see how these monsters will tear out and squeeze this, your heart,
Stay - and for ever be damned for the sins dont you're now taking part
Speak not - and over the testing, the friendly approach to your heart
Hail - and your soul suffers damage beyond each repair and each guard
Hear not - and hidden the cruelty, the madness in whole and in part
Sign - and what justice was called knows of such nothing more than a fart
See not - and things that you never were able to think of will start
Follow - and all you will be is a sheep without pastor nor smart
Think not - and friends will just vanish and foes only rise with each yard
Sleep - and your dreams only nightmares to be and to wake is so hard
Turn not - and salt you become and immobilized be every part
Die - and your grave knows no name but a flag and your soul's torn apart
Live not - that's all which remains when the terror has grasped your own heart.
And death like salvation now feels as retreat from a rocked and hard place
And death seems the only, the true and rewardingst of all in this maze
And death a companion, a feller, a friend with whom all gets a base
And death a recluse and escape as a place holding nothings and nays
And death all around you, amongst you, within you - not strangest a face
And death just an option, an ending, an end to the nightmares and haze,
And death just an ending to visions so lost in this ongoing craze
And death an excuse, a reward, bringing heros and pathos, not greys,
And death making heroes of simplest of men giving all equal gaze -
And death such a beautiful stranger, a wand'rer betwixt nights and days
And death equals all and all terror just gone once you're through with this haze
And death killing all, leaving no one alive, neither nights nor the days
And death knows no time, knows no craving, no fear, no remorse and no craze
And death is so silent, invisible, suited to nobody's face
And death is a creature of night not, nor day nor of any such base
And death is an angel of sleep, one of hope, not regret, of no place
And death just so certain - so why do you quiver at all for your face?
· · · · · ·
So now turn, leave this madness as long as there's time yet to go, to evade,
There's no use here to stay, there's no use here to hope, here to fear, here to wait
Turn around, go away, there's just terror behind you, and you are its bait
Should you stay, this sublime won't be nice, won't be pleasant, nor joyous a mate
And to horror to turn and to madness to bend and so craving a raid
Turn around, watch from far, meet the distance just right, don't invoke darkest fate
From the distance, in contrast there's truth and the future to see undelayed
And like nothing, the doors may fling open to let you see all as it's made
And reveal all the if and the how and the who in this moment innate
And no questions remain as this moment is pure, but in time must it fade
But if silently seen you the wonders and masks and the rules which equate
All bright lights you had seen till this day right away start to darken and fade
To perspective is put all which grand and of myst'ry and glory was said
All you'd seen as well all that you'd heard, all you'd known, all you'd used to relate
Just then nothing of this can now hold, can prevail if not worthy a fate
All unworthy this grasp will now break and must start right anew till all's paid
In sublime all will crush, all return to primeval, rejoint then a state -
And all tempests to nothing confused, and absolved, all transcend, never fade.
INTERLVDIVM SECVNDVM: AD NOCTEM
vidisti audisti tantum taleque omniaque mutata alienata sunt caedenta labenta in te labis cades cecidis caecatus es vidis quod sublime est sublime videtur sublime putatur sublimitate vestitum personis latum latum in nocte in nocte vestitum deforme turpeque foeditatem latens voluptate interdiu inter homnes inter plebem sed solitudine apparent somnia tua frequentant exsecrantur maledicunt tibi persollas se ostendent opportunes se praebent te probant procaciter procellae incitant tempestatibus captus tuteque videns audiens iens ad eas ad noctem scisne ut fallaces species nunc scito sed captus es excita face supera surge de sanguine alioqui superatus eris sed nox adventa sci audi vide.[6]
PARS TERTIA: DESCENT
I. Fiercest forms in shadows forming Fiercest forms for shadows yearning Fiercest darkness spilled and spawned so Everything in tightest grasp here And no optimism last here All so wrapped in pain and sorrow All so turned in brightest morrow Yestertime, all things still clear, Yestertime no shaking hands Hands were calm then, now confused Consciousness by light accused Darkness soothingly ascended Darkness gracefully us held - Daylight burning now in full Daylight hurts the sleeping lull Daylight suddenly a weapon - Blood so crying, burns like hell - And the veins transport the liquid Burnt they are of crying heat - And destroyed what nice and neat.
II. Burns it all and yearns for better Burns so deeply fierce and aching All my cells just now are waking Call for help and call for ending - Rules are lost and all is bending Shadow games are all now pounding Shadow games so fitting sounding Shadow games in background lurking Shadows all their ploys and ways - Cry it out, no movement made, Movement crushed in such a sight Such a presence has here put you Turn you can't, and face the plot - And what far once, nears with tremors Farthest dangers turning close All what dreamt and reckoned great so Show there face in ugly turn - Fiercest forms emerge around you Fiercest longing wakes within you Fiercest answers now arriving Fiercest grin they all inciting.
III. Now in shadows bound and trembling Shakes the hand which calm before, Shake the bones and see you falling See you hit the ground so hard Images now flash around you Moving objects far too fast Far too quickly all approaching Far too loud the sounds them join Far too thick the smells surround you Far too bright the colors seem Everything so plain and open Nothing clouded, no recluse, Not a mystery remains - All the answers now crush in, White a horse above now standing, Black a raven flies above, Owls their strangest sounds releasing, The coyote waking, too, All so strange this now and pounding All emerged from nothingness All in strangest voices sounding All you say, a fearful hiss, Deep entangled now you are - Deepest mystery has bound you And your thinking all ajar.
IV. All what once a known surrounding Now in deepest terror held - Madness all around so laughing Madness turning into you Madness from without invading Madness opening each lock Madness now your blood inciting Madness finds you unprepared Shakes within you, found you sleeping, Found your thoughts so ill-prepared All defenses now derided All your sickest dreams come true - And in this, your mind now trapped, Caged by all that's flowing in. All sublime now turns to terror, Terror horror now incites, Creeping into you right now Creeping down your skin and burning Turning all from inside out Turning all - and turning you - Wake? Or make? O boy, too late.
V. And now Your eyes open Your ears widened Your nose ready Up you move and look around All's so new, so diff'rent, altered, All in strangest colors burning All in strange new light so seen Same place as you were last night Diff'rent now it but to seem - Changed your vision, changed your thinking There's no darkness, neither light - Care you don't but walk just through Where you've been, no worth here has Where you're going, now is known Just a matter of time Just time Just time Just wait For bait. Crushed your soul and not recovers Crushed humanity deep down Laugh you now at empty places Laugh you now at fellow fate - Just the alien thoughts now guide you Just the voices deep inside Consciousness deep down alone.
VI. Crushed it so and screams for waking Crushed it so but all is lost Crushed by forces you invited Crushed by powers too sublime Blinded by the light of darkness Blinded by such stark a contrast Blinded by what lured you so You had to look You had to go The sirens lured you in their way And not to bind yourself you chose Trusted blindly all your senses Trusted blindly all your might Shallow might in shallow being Vanity has filled your seeing Vanity has filled each cell All to vain reflexions bound All to coldest ways so leading Just a robot you've become Just a soul caught in sublime All your deeds now dark to be - A choice but still And see you do Where you have come from Where to go - Confront - Evade - Or be a slave?
INTERLVDIVM TERTIVM: LIMBO
Wait again Now look back At words now past At stanzas gone Way up you are But not arrived This ain't the end Not yet, My friend, This ain't the climax, Just a break, All hovering In silence now, Siesta, rest, Just calming down Waiting Yearning Still awake? Time you take - Images So clear to see So clear disguised So clear the masks Behind them - Guess. White noise That's all There is. Just gibberish Just nonsense Pure But nonsense Impure And mixed Thus powerful In mixture strength In combination clarity In contrast purity A purity of souls A communion of divergence Mix Don't seclude Mix White with black Blood with water Belief with heresy God Is a god of creation Of multiplicity Rectangular a circle A line bent infinitely So there is unity In variety And clarity In cacophony Chaos Order One And the same Chaos Kai nomos Chaos En nomôi Nomos En chaôi El Elohim Adonai Ra Dionysos Demeter Apollon Zeus Iuppiter Devah Brahma Vishnu Shiva Huitzilopochtli Baal Isis Osiris Allah JHVH All names Just names And we Just images create An old man on a cloud With a beard Sending lightning strikes That's original. Make no images For all Are partial And incomplete One god For all Kath' holos One creation One soul One body One. Blood Mix You are the same We all Are the chosen people Children of god Circumcised Not circumcised Baptized Not baptized And he (or she) Sees all And knows So trust You're safe Don't fear Live.
PARS QVARTA: PVRGATORIVM
Soothing so the night once seemed Soothing then it all so schemed All protections given up All protections once then lost so All directions now confused All so crazed in haze and burning Turning all to second sight - All reflections faded long so All that faded into black Now returns it, breaks through shadows Breaks the stun and broken minds - All which lost to sights sublime All which lost to titans' play All which lost to silent stun Slowly now its sight regains.
Burns now all which broke the mind Burns now all which linked to night Burns in mind's own strength again Burns in everlasting fight
Time so lost and not returns it Time a worldly might just so Space enfolds to nothingness All united what once differed All in new a unison Old is new And dark is bright here Bright is dark And new is old Horror has no meaning here All sublime to one now risen All in one All united And all contradictions - one.
Not the slightest piece gets lost here, Not the slightest thing undone All perspectives flown to one Unity Diversity Multiplicity -
All transcended, World's apart, And the unity of things Chaos, Nomos, all the same, In this unity primeval, Night and darkness share one face, Undiscover'd country found.
Dreams realities now binding, Manifesting once anew All which lost Is won again All which won Is lost anew.
Wake And make All so seen All so heard now Past now the asking Past all second glances Forward seen just chances new Forward wound, the past lies aback, And rewinds now the game to go through, And in retrospect now, all is at stake.
INTERLVDIVM QVARTVM: REMIX
And now Let's go Let's rise, Go up
 And all now joint And all so done All said before Will come again And mix anew Like all times past - Originals? You look in vain. All copies just, Reflections all, On towers tall So clear to see But towers tall May once collide And days so bright End with the night And all returns The masks, most new, Some old ones too, And climbs it all - Approaching fall? A rise so steep Must either fall Or change its course But stay the same Needs energy Or otherwise Inertia Will slow it down And gravity Then do the rest.
In growing haze And restless nights Appear so weak And need to find And need to see And us is them -
But are we free? Or all in vain? The ones thought ill They might just rise With strong a will And soon called sane And hear our plea - A myth is Ham, One blood are we, No more then blind And truth we seek Define the rights And seize our days.
And wild a maze In vacant flights No truth will leak And traps the mind Not let it be - From where we stem In wild a spree Is nowhere plain A jumbled tree And weak a lamb And I am thee One and a kind - Get just a peek - In all our plights The storms we face.
And run like craze Disturbed our sights Below the peak And none in hind - The truths we flee The lies us hem, And now, just me, And pain unwind Will I just freak In silent fights In terror's gaze?
No secret place Just open heights Am I to shriek And horror bind Am I too meek And lost my mights - And lost my base?
In awful pace And closing tights I see just nays.
And all surrounded Just again The dreams deep down Appear again And fire walks with me once more And light and shadow Cast ashore, And nebulae Unwind with light And darkness sends Its silent might A crack appears A voice so shriek And "Nevermore" It's only creed.
PARS QVINTA: IN DREAMS
I.
In dreams it is the worlds collide In dreams it is the fates unwind In dreams it is the secrets found In dreams it is the thoughts unbound In dreams it is the words unfold In dreams it is that all is told That all so told which once so hidden All from farthest truth forbidden All from farthest distance preaching All from farthest point approaching All now all in all implying All now all in fiendest lying All perverted what once smart so All just turned And all just fused Fused to nonsense, Mind abused, Logic blunders, Is no use, Images so wildly pounding And like truth they still so sounding But in waking state, all gone.
II.
In dreams it is we hear the call In dreams it is we know it all In dreams it is that black is white In dreams it is that dark is bright In dreams it is that bent is straight In dreams it is no answers wait Wait no longer, Seen it shining See the light and see it climbing Up the ladder Climax Building Up the hill All things explaining All the wishes long so pounding All so easy now just sounding All in reach and all now gained None here labor needs, no aching Nonsense turned to sense in faking All the images unwind Sleepers easily they blind Waking men, them still just haunting Waking, we have chance to rest.
III.
In dreams it is the mind's just fake In dreams it is it cannot make In dreams it is that caught all sense In dreams it is there is no whence In dreams it is no place to fight In dreams it is for us so tight. Dreams so laughingly consume All the logic, walls and strongholds All the strength within us broken No resistance, not a token, Not a sign of human soul - Not a sign? Or just no masks - Pretensions gone And all what fake - And walls collide And none at stake And we, in innermost such longings, The heart reveal, The mind push out - And soon we shudder, Soon we cede - And can't accept What clear to see.
IV.
In dreams it is that truth so clear In dreams it is that plain all fear In dreams it is that plain all sight In dreams it is that leaves the night In dreams it is that all so fused In dreams it is that strength abused Strength so laughingly a weakness Strength the last thing here to see Strength so weak in all directions Strength now gone And words so vain Naked stand we Walk the streets Magic hold we Hold the deeds All in timeless fraction done All in spaceless distance seen Fly up high No limits bind you See the places that don't find you See it all But don't control it - See it all A strange enforcement Waking halfly, but so bound But in caging, freedom found.
V.
In dreams it is What thought once hard In dreams it is Is small a part In dreams it is And effort none In dreams it is And pain just gone In dreams it is And none in vain In dreams it is And lost all strain And all the specters now unfold All which darkest terror hold All which strikes right down your soul All which curls the calmest shore All what placid Now to fire Now to tempests leads And howls Howl it will And haunt your sleeping Nightmarish And caught in shrieking Caught in sweat and pain and trembling Suddenly, has all so turned, Suddenly, your options none Freedom not that reigns your dreaming Freedom not the prospect seeming Freedom not the inner core Caught in freedom long before Caught you are in webs of pain now Caught in bonds That won't allow A choice of words Or choice of movement - Caught are we In deepest fear Surfacing and haunting so Waking state a luxury And a child Within We are And again We look under the bed Into the closets Into the corners Into the hidden Into the dark Into the night Slowly Hesitantly Turns our head - Filled with fear Agonizing Anticipating Constipating Delegating Turned it all Turned Blood Raving Wake!
VI.
In dreams it is and dreams now fade In dreams it all just can't evade In dreams deep down all fades to nil In deepest longings stuck the thrill And all reflections fade to black And there shalt be no looking back Nor anymore in maze so caught Nor harmony now all so fought And all which craving was once then Returns to inner peace again And waking state with dreams collide And waking state anew a fight And dreams with hope again are filled And air now friendlier, unchilled, And dreams a fellow in the night No place of terror neither fright - In dreams deep down the truth to see In dreams deep down the peace to be In dreams deep down the night so clear - In dreams deep down the end so near.
POSTLVDIVM
The poems to come
The poem at hand
The poems that were
The words here so lent
To thoughts immature
A spectacle just
And pity equation,
All approximation,
And nothing was said
And nothing then can
Sublimity hold -
And open all stays
And open all ways
The matters sublime
Just shatter the thought
And all that remains
Is pale just a shadow
And child's play it all
So winds it all back
And all
Fade to black.
 September 18th, 2000
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