POEMS GROUP 18: DIMISSIO Category 2: Wager

1. Apocope II:Forget
2. Apocope III:Denie
3. Apocope IV:Hide
4. Apocope V:Question
5. Apocope VI:Accept
6. Syllogy XVIII: Hiatus

DIMISSIO - WAGER I:

FORGET

Forget and evade
Escape now the circle
The circle of pain
Of pain and encagement
Of prisons you've built
By yourself
So cleanse now your mind
And cleanse now your soul
Forget and move on
Forget and unmake it
Unmake all that bound you
Unmake all that's false and that keeps you from living
Forget all the nonsense that so long believed you
Forget it, it's worth it, and stand on your own
Your life but it is
Not hers, his or theirs
It's yours, and now take it
And carry the burden of doing it right
Forget and get over
Get over the past
There's no point in living what cannot come true
Tabula rasa it be now
Forget

February 19th, 2002

DIMISSIO - WAGER II:

DENIE

Denie the truth within your heart
Denie the wishes, dreams and hopings,
Denie all that to just go on
To live a life
To live at all
To just maintain that fragile thread
That tiny thread called sanity
That strangest drive to just fit in
To be just normal like the rest
To not offend
And not annoy
To not speak truth to those who fear it
To not deprive yourself from all
To let, what's deep inside your self,
Stay where it came from once
And not get hurt
Again
For once you've died inside already
No need to do it all again,
Unless the cold already holds you
Turned your heart
To stone
Inside

February 28th, 2002

DIMISSIO - WAGER III:

HIDE

Hide your thoughts and inner feelings
Hide them well
Don't let them see you
Don't you let them see your heart
Don't you let them see your soul
Don't you let them see the flames
Let them think that you are normal
That you're just the guy next door
Don't you dare reveal your self
Don't you dare to risk a thought
Uttered out in honesty

Just fit in and claim their needs
Just fit in and smoothen up
'Cause the truth is, you're unwanted
You're unwanted if you're true
If you're diff'rent, if you're you

Let them play their silly games
Let them worry 'bout their hair
Let them worry 'bout their teacups
Let them worry 'bout their lives so little
Lives just filled with endless sleep
And endless catatonic states
And pleasures all delayed for ever
Pleasures seen as things of evil
Borders needed to contain
Just to hold what's seen unwanted
Seen unwanted 'cause it's diff'rent
Diff'rent from their little minds
Their little white prisons
Holding their souls
Making them
Believe the lies
Believe it all
Believe the illusions in hollow traditions
Believe just the rules
The rules of the game
The made-up rules
Of a made-up game
By made-up heroes
In made-up stories
For made-up lives

And now you tell me,
Is that what you want?
Can help you those zombies?
I betcha you can't
Don't want they your help
Don't see they your visions
And those of the others that diff'rent from them
So leave them alone
And follow the path
Let see them you then
The things you achieved
And maybe they'll see
And maybe they'll grow
Yet this is a path to be found by oneself -
And push them just gently
And maybe they'll see
And maybe they'll live
And maybe you'll guide them
Perhaps they'll stay blind
And blindness just fits them
And is what they want
And is what they need
For you to survive
Just hide from their reach
And hide from their power
And follow the road
That keeps you alive
Within

March 1st, 2002

DIMISSIO - WAGER IV:

QUESTION

Look behind you
What do you see?
What do you feel?
What have you done?
What did you think?
What did you see?
Questions arise
Question your sight
Question your soul
Question your deeds
Question your memory
Question it all -
Something has happened
Something occurred
Something just changed it
Changed it all
Made all disappear what certain assumed
Made all change its shape
Made all just a shadow of what it once was -
Was all just a game?
Is over it now?
Or has it just started
And has it begun -
Was blind I back then
Can see I now clearly,
Or am I now blinded by choices so vast?

March 2nd, 2002

DIMISSIO - WAGER V:

ACCEPT

So see now the things
So see now the past
In light of the present
And see it all lying
A tapestry like
Once all has unfolded
Once all now has happened
Once all now is done:
The certainty here
Is something to see
To cherish, to hold:
The past is a gift
For certain it is
And certain it be:
Just do now remember the things that you saw
Just do now remember the things that you felt
Just do now remember the people you loved:
And see it now clear
The picture may change
The actions will not
The past is your safety
Your only one ever
Your only identity
Now look for your mem'ry and see it then through:
Accept it you can
Accept it you must
The future's your gift
The place for redemption
And holder of options
Unwritten, maybe -
The present will see
The present will be
The present must shape you
And fight then your demons
Accept not the lies
Accept not the cages
Accept not the burden
Accept not the haunting:
For free but you are -
If only you were

March 2nd, 2002

SYLLOGY XVIII:

DIMISSIO - WAGER VI:

EXPOSITION:

ONE
TWO
THREE
FOUR
FIVE

ONE

What shall it be?
What shall we see?
What is the plan, the incitement, the key?
Is there a future, a time yet to be,
A sense of fulfilment - a place we should be?
For here it now seems
There's just some confusion
And, strangely, contentness,
And movement there's not:
Have now we arrived?
Is this now the present that future will be?
Is all this the prize?
Is all this what promised us once we were young?
What promised we
Ourselves
In childhood dreams
And childhood hopes
And childhood simplicity
In case just you've had one…

TWO

Is this all?
Or is there more?
How do I get it?
Where is the place?
When is the time?
Do I have to do something - or is it being done for me?
Need I get up?
It's so convenient here
So warm and dry
And food nearby
And everything else within reach.
What am I to do?
Aspire - to what?
And get a life - for whom?
Me?
What shall I follow
What then believe -
Ain't all those incentives just stupid resisting
On pictures so fixed
And pictures so made
And pictures created by any tradition and any a group?
Aren't free we but,
You and I,
To do what we want?
To do what we like -
And do what we can?
But hear now their voices
And see now their outlines of how we shalt be like
Of what we shalt do
Shalt not do
Shalt follow -
Do listen but closely
And don't you be trapped.

THREE

Listen just
Listen truly
Just the scheme of things now see -
Movement still
A movement slow
A movement slow and full of silence
Listen just
And don't take notice
Of the things around so loud
Around so screaming
'Round so crying
'Round so vastly all consuming
All encaging and invading
Do not listen
See and hear just:
Understand the things from far
Don't approach those thoughts too dearly
Keep the distance
Know thyself
And know the demons deep inside
Know the things that could unmake you
Could tear up your soul and kill it
Could just tear your self apart
Take to climaxes unseen yet
Take your soul
And let it die
Take your spirit and just keep it
Locked within these narrow walls -
Lock you in and then unmake you -
Don't you dare approach these thoughts -
Don't you sleep with thoughts too certain -
To your grave they will just lead you
To a grave eternal, static,
To a certainty of false deduction
To a life that knows just limits
Knows just dogma - fetished lies,
Don't you let them keep you locked,
Don't you dare surrender now
Don't you yield your hopes, your dreams,
Don't you see?
The masks are there
They laugh, they teach, they lead, they reign -
Authority is all their game
Authority is all their name
And Janus then
Their god to be -
A freakish double-standard greeting
And don't you go out to the reaper, my child,
And don't let 'em lull you
To sleep and contentness,
Complacency holding
And answers too simple
And answers too fixed.

FOUR

So sitting again
In the dark
Alone
Is that now the path?
Is that now the future?
But how to go on
Once you've seen how it works
Once you've seen all the masks and the schemes out there
Controlling the thoughts
Controlling the minds
Controlling the souls
Corrupting them all while posing as saviors, as rulers, as guides -
So why shalt you not now
Revert just inside?
And turn to yourself
And those here around you?
Is not this a life that is yours?
Are your dreams not your own
Your needs what then drives you?
So why be a slave to a world that won't listen
To a world all too fixed in all what it does?

FIVE

Discard then the plans that without you are made,
And see through the dogmas all empty and cold -
So, what's there to find?
Or even, adopt?
Oh, don't let 'em tame you
And put into boxes
Escape all the labels they want to attach -
They're just an excuse
For that they don't know
Don't want to know
And simply don't care:
They label a thing and think then they know it:
So don't be a fool to think you can change them,
You can't, and you won't, or maybe, just few;
So, what's there to do?
Is thinking allowed?
And trying to figure it out by yourself?
Not all you can take from books full of words
For some things remain
To just be explored by yourself;
And time used for thinking
Is never a waste.

March 17th, 2002