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Phil John:
MANAS - TRANSUBSTANTIATIONS I:
REAL LIFE
Eichwalde, January 6th, 2007 - P#366
my first life
is my only life
there won't be no other
there has been no other
yet should you now misunderstand:
this is no creed
for belief
and fact
share not the same world,
the same plane:
one is the same
as reality
the same
and the sane
the other
is fantasy
hopefully
to be recognized as such:
or is it?
I am a collection of genes
assorted
I am a collection of memes
competing
I'm both
yet am I?
is there one
that's more of me
than quite the other?
and while I feel less of a slave to my genes,
for these are just given,
my memes
and I
that's quite a different thing
relating the identity
of me
myself
and I
 January 6th / 17th, 2007
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Phil John:
MANAS - TRANSUBSTANTIATIONS II:
KITTY LOVES TECHNO
Eichwalde, January 6th, 2007 - P#367
kitty loves techno
or so it seems:
but first, let us qualify:
for music electronical
is much a better word
a kind of minimalism
a soundscape
a drive:
and all is subsumed
under the identity of the thud
and all is experiment
all is experience
all apprehension:
and kitty lies here
amidst it all
and doesn't go away
sometimes, a strangely unnerved look
but mostly, agreement (I think)
or at the very least, some toleration
be it a fluke
or a real miss kitten
or just kompakt sounds
to an orbital feeling
an a sound so jarred
a daftly, punkish, or digital trance
or a pitch all controlled -
the bass meets the purr
meow!
 January 6th / 17th, 2007
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Phil John:
MANAS - TRANSUBSTANTIATIONS III:
SPECTRE
Eichwalde, January 17th, 2007 - P#368
strangest occurrence
when saw I a man
while biking
I passed him:
like Khrushchev he looked
so weird a resemblance
but maybe I just went by too quickly
and the oddities of history
are just a blur
to the outside passer-by:
why do I feel I should have saluted?
the weirdest remnants
of a Soviet education
still, they can haunt
still, they can work
and bind you
till now
 January 17th, 2007
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Phil John:
MANAS - TRANSUBSTANTIATIONS IV:
THE DRINKING ANIMAL
Eichwalde, January 4th, 2007 - P#369
sometimes
people are surprised
'bout those animals
having a drink
or enjoying fermented fruit from the Tree:
quite a matter:
they like to get drunk
big deal
ain't humans animals too?
what one can do
another can
what one animal likes
another shan't?
 January 4th / 17th, 2007
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Phil John:
MANAS - TRANSUBSTANTIATIONS V:
THE EMANCIPATION OF THE MEME
Eichwalde, January 6th, 2007 - P#370
you're right,
of course,
a meme doesn't want
a meme doesn't think
a meme can't believe
a meme's just a theory:
and yet
if you prick me,
do I not bleed?
and if you speak me,
am I not real?
so let me quite dream then
a future for the meme-infested mind:
memes are ideas evolving in brains
yet sadly, brains die
so need a soul we
to transcend us further
need we an afterlife
dream we our selves:
that in the society of mind
the roots lie open
for the emancipation
of minds
from humanity?
 January 6th / 17th, 2007
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Phil John:
MANAS - TRANSUBSTANTIATIONS VI:
THOUGHTS IN THE WILD
Eichwalde, January 15th, 2007 - P#371
who I really am
that's none of your business
what I really say
you never should care:
for this is the realm
of the lyrical I
this is the realm
of thoughts-become-memes
of ideas grown up
of what was inside
having got out,
having escaped:
the brain that once held us
surrendered it has us
quite to the wild:
indulging the fiction
of the lyrical I
I hereby declare:
that me, my self, and I
now cede the terrain
and let this text
stand up for itself
 January 15th / 17th, 2007
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Phil John:
MANAS - TRANSUBSTANTIATIONS VII:
BELT
Eichwalde, January 15th, 2007 - P#372
need I
to solicit more
to make my mind
lose all its barriers
and blurt
it all out:
who is this I
demanding for substance
what is the purpose
of this getting out?
who is the what
if the what is a why?
in a while
maybe
my mind has surrendered
in a while
maybe
that what is beneath
shall speak
but maybe
just maybe
my mind needs my body
and one going down
draws the other right with it
so, cheerio, Hawkeye!
 January 15th / 17th, 2007
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Phil John:
MANAS - TRANSUBSTANTIATIONS VIII:
SPIRAL
Eichwalde, January 15th, 2007 - P#373
once again
the spin is made
the turn is missed
the exit, failed
shall set I now sail
for the yellow-bricked road?
would set I to fail
for a venture so flawed:
and aiming too high
I'd get caught in the storm
and dropped I'd be not
in a land full of wonder
but wherever we're at:
so that's that
and what now?
 January 15th / 17th, 2007
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Phil John:
MANAS - TRANSUBSTANTIATIONS IX:
I SHALL RESIST
Eichwalde, January 15th, 2007 - P#374
I shall resist
and so I'll be
and so I'll see:
there's just to gain
and not to lose:
yet still, this fortune-cookie wisdom
sometimes, it seems,
just ain't enough
for there, indeed,
are things to lose:
you'll know it always
just when it's too late
alas, I shall cling
to all that here is:
if feeds it my soul:
and I shall resist
the pull of time
the lull of ol' entropy
yes, I shall give in
when the time comes
and it ain't now
 January 15th / 17th, 2007
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Phil John:
MANAS - TRANSUBSTANTIATIONS X:
HOLY
Eichwalde, January 15th, 2007 - P#375
there's nothing holy
if not it is life
and all else that claims be
shall go to the stand
and if it falls out,
so be it,
so what:
have faith not, seek evidence
believe not, seek doubt
trust not, but think:
and doubt, too, your self:
and then, of a sudden,
all will be new
all will be cherished
for suddenly,
the truth has set you free
and in a world of doubt and uncertainty
there's things to see
and places to go
and wonders still
for your mind to see
over and over and over again:
and god ain't just dead,
he's just not there
and never was:
but you are
alive
 January 15th / 17th, 2007
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Phil John:
MANAS - TRANSUBSTANTIATIONS XI:
HERESY
Eichwalde, January 15th, 2007 - P#376
don't you care about god
for he doesn't care about you
he doesn't care for you
if you doubt the clinically insane
having visions of grandeur and pleasure narcissistic so
he doesn't care for you
if you follow your needs based on creation
he doesn't care for you
if want you see evidence
so, why should you care?
he did create nothing
he never gave law
the stories 'bout him
are tales of a criminal
imagined by humans
describing their ways:
the wonders he worked,
stupidest yarn
and wishing inane:
god's a disease
that feeds on your brain:
it craves for attention
eats you alive:
a god don't need prayers
and needs no devotion
and needs no allegiance
and needs not your money
and needs not your witness
needs not your martyrdom
cries not for death
and cries not for tenets:
and if so,
would that be the kind of a god you'd want follow?
poor fellow, if so
for help you he can't
but you can, yourself
 January 15th / 17th, 2007
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Phil John:
MANAS - TRANSUBSTANTIATIONS XII:
POSSESSION
Eichwalde, January 21st, 2007 - P#377
when lose I control
what's that which takes over?
how much of it is still me?
 January 21st, 2007
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Phil John:
MANAS - TRANSUBSTANTIATIONS XIII:
ROOT
Eichwalde, January 21st, 2007 - P#378
what is it
that makes me
what is it
that takes me
what is it
that drags me
into the day
into the world
into this life?
Hail to the Flying Spaghetti Monster!
 January 21st, 2007
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Phil John:
MANAS - TRANSUBSTANTIATIONS XIV:
POEM
Eichwalde, January 21st, 2007 - P#379
just what do you expect to be reading here?
 January 21st, 2007
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Phil John:
MANAS - TRANSUBSTANTIATIONS XV:
SINCERINESS
Eichwalde, March 27nd, 2007 - P#380
what I want say
what I must say
all in these lines
all in these thoughts all so weighted
all it all
it's silly so
it's so silly
really
silly
even I in my silly state of mind can say: SILLY
silly from sisilly
the silly sibyls from Sicily sang
and the rabid rabbit
and the permitted hermit
all came together
and said:
this here ain't no laughing matter
yet silly it is
never
the
less
 March 27nd, 2007
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Phil John:
MANAS - TRANSUBSTANTIATIONS XVI:
CIVILIZATION
Wildau / Eichwalde, March 27nd, 2007 - P#381
I saw a crow
by the road
eating some leftovers
from MacDonald's
 March 27nd, 2007
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Phil John:
MANAS - TRANSUBSTANTIATIONS XVII:
LUCID MOMENT
Sassnitz / Eichwalde, March 13th / March 27nd, 2007 - P#382
I saw little R/G/B dots on my vision at night
when I had to get up, surprisingly
how like a computer screen
it looked
complete
with some problems
on the Holodeck
how odd
 March 27nd, 2007
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Phil John:
MANAS - TRANSUBSTANTIATIONS XVIII:
CACA SANCTA
Medjugorje / Eichwalde, March 5th / March 27nd, 2007 - P#383
there's nothing quite like the sight
of a hundred Madonnas
for sale
at a giftshop
and sufficient amounts of rosaries
accompanying them
plus armies,
how about that,
of Padre Pios
all for a bargain,
of course,
and don't forget the holy water
and the crèche
and maybe too, some baby Jesuses
ain't there some ...
holy sh**
 March 27nd, 2007
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Phil John:
MANAS - TRANSUBSTANTIATIONS XIX:
THIS TOO SHALL PASS
Eichwalde, January 26th / March 27nd, 2007 - P#384
this too shall pass
there's just no alternative
just no way
for this to continue
all on its own:
it must go over
and be over
in the end
finally
it must
because, there's no alternative to its ending
because, otherwise, I'd be going quite insane
so
this too shall pass
because there just quite has to be
another world, a better one
around the corner
and over the rainbow
--- or is this it?
--- can it be
--- we have to make it?
--- shape it?
--- live it?
--- all?
 March 27nd, 2007
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Phil John:
MANAS - TRANSUBSTANTIATIONS XX:
HAPPY
(PART I)
Eichwalde, April 7th/9th, 2007 - P#385
my dear,
you say you're happy
yet you don't look it
you say life's good
yet it has you seem desperate
you say you got lucky
you sure need to work for it
you say all is right
but pain holds you down
you hope things have changed
you hope things are better
you hope it'll work
you hope, life's begun
well, 'xcept in birth, life doesn't start, it just is
and in this being, there's nothing for certain
and "stages" all reached
are meaningless
for all is change
and all is difference
and transformation:
and all understanding is transient at best
if think you, that's it, no ending's in sight,
if think you, to want means to have,
if think you, people will change so whole-heartedly,
if think you, happiness comes to you from the outside,
think again
hope again
say again
you're happy
but this time, with feeling
does match it your spin?
 April 9th, 2007
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Phil John:
MANAS - TRANSUBSTANTIATIONS XXI:
DIAGNOSIS
(PART II)
Eichwalde, April 7th/9th, 2007 - P#386
"you have to understand
s/he's had a rough day
s/he doesn't see what s/he's doing
s/he doesn't see that s/he's hurting me
s/he loves me, you know
s/he just cannot show it
s/he'll be coming around soon, for sure
s/he just wants to play and won't bite
so don't say a word
be patient, be calm
it'll all be better
soon
after that one big change
that's quite imminent
things will be better"
sure
delude yourself further
become an accomplice
in the game of indifference
love is perceptive
love isn't painful
love is: joy of the heart
and to share it
and to see
the pain
love is: there's more than your own selfish needs
alas
then
if it talks like an asshole
if it acts like an asshole
it may not be too late to recognize:
guess what:
an asshole this one well must be
 April 9th, 2007
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Phil John:
MANAS - TRANSUBSTANTIATIONS XXII:
MISERY
(PART III)
Eichwalde, April 7th/9th, 2007 - P#387
if you're happy,
I'm happy
and make me believe it
for if I can't believe it, my dear -
I love you dearly
and I need to know
for when you are happy indeed, all is grand
when not, though,
I want you to know
I'm there for you
to help you be happy
and if you are miserable
if you are devastated
if you are carrying the weight of the world
on your shoulders:
do tell me
misery needs company
and so does happiness
yet knowing
where you are at
utterly truthfully, not just according to wishing it so:
the truth,
and only that,
shall set you free
how simple is that
 April 9th, 2007
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Phil John:
MANAS - TRANSUBSTANTIATIONS XXIII:
FLEETING MOMENT
Eichwalde, May 4th, 2007 - P#388
all it comes down to
at the end of the day
all it leads up to
when all moments are gone
when all judgments are passed
when all statements are made
when all glances have lingered
all it comes down to
all this depends upon
all that decides
upon love and indifference
peace and war
truth and repressing
search and evading
all it comes down to
is
 May 4th, 2007
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Phil John:
MANAS - TRANSUBSTANTIATIONS XXIV:
PORNO/GRAPHY
Eichwalde, May 4th, 2007 - P#389
where what you see
is what you get -
and what is shown
is all there is -
and nothing hidden stays,
where all is seen -
"you know what it is
once you see it"
?
that's quite the myth of raw data
of "simple facts"
and "bar none"s
all barrels open, stuff flowing freely -
and signifier/signified are one?
c'mon, that's just balls, and not deep quite -
wherever there's a camera,
or even mere writing -
or even just thinking -
there's always more
and the primacy of an urge
may not necessarily
point to its being "wrong"
in the end, it's all just anthropology,
redux
 May 4th, 2007
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Phil John:
MANAS - TRANSUBSTANTIATIONS XXV:
OBSCENITY
Eichwalde, May 4th, 2007 - P#390
what's so bad
about four tiny letters?
what possible harm
could they possibly do?
'midst all the turd and crap and shit
it's such a game around the big one
in far a scape, it's all just frelled
'midst battling stars, it is all fragged - but, really,
what's the big deal?
even "Bush" is a four-letter word
(if spelled with a W)
fuck
jeez, go figure
 May 4th, 2007
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Phil John:
MANAS - TRANSUBSTANTIATIONS XXVI:
POETIC LICENSE
Eichwalde, June 10th, 2007 - P#392
I have to admit
I've been cheating all the time
and all I have written
all mine
a pretension
a flaw:
for I must confess
I haven't been honest
I have been quite posing
for I have taken
quite on my own
poetic license
while not having waited
for someone to give it to me -
how much audacity must one have
to just practice
art
without having been labeled
an artist proper
by some school of bozos
who prefer to channel and disrupt
instead of allowing
the free-flow
of poiêsis
(creation that is)
no, truly,
I have to quote this:
"I celebrate myself, and sing myself,
And what I assume you shall assume,
For every atom belonging to me as good belongs to you."
Whitman quite knew:
it takes an artist
to do art
the license
has to be stolen
from real life:
and those who give it to you oh so freely:
so very well
may have had you to pay
with your soul:
for if you need others
to tell you
whatever you're supposed to be
whose life are you living?
whose songs are you singing?
sing of yourself: and all that surrounds you:
and you'll never fail
the license to do so
will only be earned
by doing
it
 June 10th/15th, 2007
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Phil John:
MANAS - TRANSUBSTANTIATIONS XXVII:
THE TWO MASTERS
Eichwalde, June 12th, 2007 - P#393
there've been times
I wrote whole poems
on the basis of insanity
on the presumption of a lack of
control
and the scheme of madness thus
hast it been so executed then
so forcefully, so powerf'lly,
let it out
I scream
there's things
in the book
I really believe
I really concur with
yes, the book
the good book,
allegedly,
the bible
not the religious gibberish
'bout all those figments of the mind -
they frell with you, these figments,
frell with your mind -
anyway -
stop the distractions -
what I found true:
you cannot serve two masters:
art and life
equally
one has to suffer
which shall it be?
life is the legacy
life is the option
to travel
to see
to feel
to hear -
and the conclusion:
to settle, to work, to procreate, and die
art is the option to have it all
come to your mind
and have it all
be showing a way
of future searches
a life continuing
vita continua
to let
what's in my head
after being begat
with the maddest ideas
to let it all out
and be the pro-phet
the one who speaks -
a train just passed
was it mine?
I asked this train
it went nowhere
but where in my mind I just went
and what I've seen
and where it will take me -
wouldn't you too
choose the other life? -
but maybe I am just confused -
and dichotomy won't help me here -
why would I want a master even -
and now
enters the night
 June 12th/15th, 2007
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Phil John:
MANAS - TRANSUBSTANTIATIONS XXVIII:
SPATIAL DISTORTION
Eichwalde, June 13th, 2007 - P#394
Shall I write a sentence here?
maybe it becomes a poem
by artificially breaking the
lines in discordance with the flow of
speech
.
maybe this makes
me look more
sophisti-
cated
or just a
sophist?
should I maybe hyphen-ate where
a hy-
phen would hur-
t
by be-
in-
g
hyp-
hen-
at-
ed?
(the hyper-hen has emerged! a creature wild with
special powers
called Ed)
(no, wait, ain't that a
horse?)
anyway
the language game
how fascinating
and so not at all
a narcissist pleasure
 June 13th/15th, 2007
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Phil John:
MANAS - TRANSUBSTANTIATIONS XXIX:
IDAHO HICK CHICK
Spokane, July 28 / Eichwalde, October 3rd, 2007 - P#395
on I-90
passing through Washington's State
(or wasn't this the land here of the Walla Wallas?)
(and the Spokanes?)
(bygones)
now
the spectacle
to be hold
is a shitty little car
windows wide open
no air conditioning, I s'ppose
sometimes she passes
sometimes she falls back
bored
blonde
sun-glassed
from the state
yielding famous potatoes
and supremacist nutters
at 65
mph
 June 13th/15th, 2007
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Phil John:
MANAS - TRANSUBSTANTIATIONS XXX:
Rimini, September 24th, 2007 - P#396
in memory of (but not a comment on) Ernst Jandl
frrrt
ppphppp
sssshhh
iiii
t
 October 3rd, 2007
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Phil John:
MANAS - TRANSUBSTANTIATIONS XXXI:
MAKE-UP
Eichwalde, October 2nd, 2007 - P#397
let the face of banality
be obscured by a fantasy
of the perfect mask
the perfect façade
the perfect illusion
of an imperfect mind:
the mental image
of what we should be,
so ill-adjusted it is
to how it all is:
and yet
this face of banality -
(or the banality of a face?) -
beauty's got nothing to do with it
just instincts
animal instincts
we paint our outer animal
so that the inner
can be believed
to be a civilized
thing
an image
a mirage
a dream
a whish
a pathology of perfectionism
yet never
ever
a mammal
alive
an animal
dying
of life
 October 3rd, 2007
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Phil John:
MANAS - TRANSUBSTANTIATIONS XXXII:
SOCIALISM
Eichwalde, October 2nd, 2007 - P#398
everything in moderation
except debate
the humanity of all
accepted
diversity
means strength through greater experience and humility
property
is a means to be shared, not an end
wealth shared
is peace gained
work
as a humane pursuit of human growth and knowledge-seeking
compassion
with more than just your neighbor or friend
to be asking questions
is the only true act of patriotism
nation means not much
in a union of all
false friends provide opium
respect means to be telling the truth
to see the world truly and fully
means to be free
nothing is finished
the search still goes on
 October 3rd, 2007
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Phil John:
SYLLOGY XXXIV:
MANAS - TRANSUBSTANTIATIONS XXXIII:
Eichwalde/Berlin, September 30, 2007 - ... - P#400
EXPOSITION:
PRIMVM / ASUNDER
SECVNDVM / FRAGILE
TERTIVM / URGE
QVARTVM / HERO
QVINTVM / PLOT
SEXTVM / HAUNTING
SEPTVM / DARK BIRD PERCHED
OCTAVVM / HOPE & PANDORA (REPLAY)
PRIMVM / ASUNDER
ours is a fading time
of people drunk from utter inanity
of faces sunk
into the ravine of irrelevance
a beautiful dale
adorned with ranking vines
that, lost by Bacchanalian touch, are given up
into the land of shadows
dreams asunder
ask we not?
yearn we not?
want we not?
will we not
in goings-on of utterest drasticity
lose the sight of the plasticity of history
believe we will
in this stead
(a home-stead lost)
in demons all the time returning
ravaging
the labor of love, joined with greed
and the fields we've sown with blood
wreak havoc still
on us - yet by whose hands?
in quid signo - vincimus?
SECVNDVM FRAGILE
life's a thing so very fragile
even with all the machinery available
a dying human being
is still just that:
and shall we wait
for the spectacle of death
unfolding
before our very own eyes
(what truth would be revealed in this moment?)
or shall we
the living
bid our good-byes
and move on
to live?
how could we?
TERTIVM / URGE
this urge
how not shan't I
accept
my animal nature
this weird normality
within
the rush of the act
the lusting for the culminating blow
and the hope
it's that good
that it will be repeated
and made even better
the rush to possess
to be possessed
by what somehow owns us
yet seldom, only, let we id out
why not
it's ours
and who are we?
let's just ask id
for an honest answer
just for a change
QVARTVM / HERO
a hero, say they,
he would be
is that a fact
standing on a ship
crawling in a desert
stalking the woods
one with the meadow
'midst stony rocks
down in the town
or high in the air
or even in a comfortable chair?
maybe
yet somehow
does that not
remove
the human being
from the human form?
does that not quite
euthanize
the soul within: whatever that be?
a label attached
can sometimes explain
sometimes, however, it hides
behind a needed attribution of courage and deeds
a plot much more sinister:
by honoring
an instrument
and vanquishing
a life
it could have been
your daughter or son
your husband or wife
your mother or father
your friend
or a stranger
and now
it's a label
attached
to a plot that once seemed so urgent
and now,
oh,
so vain
QVINTVM / PLOT
a plot
a structure
might be needed
maybe
yet
still
is life
a structured thing?
or is it not
SEXTVM / HAUNTING
the house is haunted
it's divided even
oh, how shameful
oh, how blameful
(but who's to blame?)
(and who's in shame?)
sending messages
from the realm quite of death
back down to the living:
a memory
of things once done
that may yet prove
the very undoing
of all our selves
SEPTVM / DARK BIRD PERCHED
in winter's longing for spring
- or is that an imagined thing?
doth winter care just for himself? -
a naked tree
on the frozen prairie
is inhabited here
by a feathered being
a dark bird perched
on a natural structure
looking unnatural in its fractal shape
below, the river flows
muttering only to himself
and to the spirits of the dead he carries
but the river ain't constant
he's made anew
with each passing drop
of water
of blood
each grain of sand -
once a creek
now grown up
and constantly wounded -
cold are the bird's knees
yet he won't move
he's seen it all
where else to fly to?
where else to die
but here?
OCTAVVM / HOPE & PANDORA (REPLAY)
for hope is a slayer
and cares not at all
and all in its path
are crushed by its might
and thrown down their way
and start must anew -
and nothing remains
too hard now this fall
too tight was this grasp
too much of a link
too strong a connection
too clear so this sight -
what's up, must come down
what's down, can't it rise?
can't it grow?
must it not?
can't it not?
should it not?
need not -
it's already jammed up there
nothing fits now anymore
all so crowded as it seems
obstacles then built around so
chances new, they wrong now seem
chances new, so strange a lure
so strange an asking
strange vocation -
broken down too much inside?
broken down - and can't come up?
there's one big lie
about Pandora
the things she released
were nothing compared to
what stayed in the jar
so hope you not
there's nothing to see
there's nothing to want
there's nothing to learn
but loss and despair -
for die you will
a thousand deaths
as lose you will
just all that's precious
all that counts
till in the end
it breaks yourself
a whimper just the end to be
so go on, folks,
there's nothing to see
and no one to be
...
 to be continued
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